Sunday, January 26, 2014

Anxious and Stressed

So I'm tight on money right now, go figure.  The cash I did have, I spent some on UGG slippers and leather boots but they were a great price.  I do have cash but if I buy the lamination machine that's about $22 gone, movie theater gift card $43 gone. There's $65 right there.  I could wait for my next pay check but I don't know how much that will be.  I need to pick up more assignments from my other job that would help too!  I still need to file my taxes so I don't how much that will cost either.  Maybe I'll skip laminating the garland and buy maybe 1 set of movie tickets which is about $17.  I want to have cash in case of emergency and enough for Ben's birthday, if we do some sort of dinner for his birthday.  I was thinking sushi so I def need money for that.  However, I think I found outfits for Ben's birthday and Valentine's day so that's another thing I don't need to worry about, I hope.  I ordered them online and charged it with my store credit card so I'll be most likely paying that next month so there's half of a paycheck there. I usually wouldn't spend $25 on a top and especially one that I haven't tried in person but they looked cute and I wanted to treat myself because I've been feeling anxious, stressed and having anxiety since I've submitted my master's application.  I'm worried that one of my professors might not write a letter of recommendation because I keep getting forward e-mails from the college asking about the letter still! :/  I wished I would asked one more person to be on the safe side and I'm surprised I didn't but it's too late now and a lesson learned.  And then I keep thinking about my essays and things I should of said and added, etc.  I keep worrying that it won't meet there standards and then getting rejected would devastate me and ruin future plans I had of finding a full-time job.  I'm glad Ben looked over my essays because he did find spelling errors and pointed out awkward sentences but still I'm worried that it wasn't good enough for the decision process.  But I wasn't planning on applying for the March admission either so maybe they would take that into consideration and see that I can get the job done with little amount of time because I literally had days to finish my application when they called and asked me to consider for the March program instead of May but then maybe if I do get rejected I can try for the May or September program.  Only time will tell what will become of me and my future!  But it does feel good to have that off my chest and now I can focus on Ben's birthday and Valentine's day and oh yeah one of my classes started yesterday so I need to focus on that too.  I didn't realize that my other class didn't start till March but that's okay, it gives me a chance to settle into my other class.  I finally get into the two classes I wanted and after these two classes (assuming I pass them of course), then I'll just need one more for one of the certificates at the college I'm taking it at.  However, I might have to drop them if I get into the master's program because I don't how those classes will be like and what kind of work it will require.  Hopefully I can balance those two classes with work, master's program, my love life, and my life in general.  The classes end in May and if I don't wait till the last minute to do my assignments then I think it's doable.  I really hope I get into the master's program, it can open many doors for me later in life, even an anthropology job!

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