Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Did I Cheat?

So last night I was pretty much on the phone till 2 AM!  And it wasn't with Ben either!!!  Coming home from work yesterday, I texted someone who I meant through OkCupid years ago and at first, it was your basic conversation with how are you and what are you up to questions.  I texted him because I wanted to talk to someone and I knew I wouldn't hear from Ben till whenever he feels like it.  Then we talked about school and then I told him about my current situation with my education.  Then I didn't hear from him but then Ben texted me around 10 and I was hoping to talk to him because I really wanted his opinion on my current situation but I didn't get anything more then 2 texts.  About 15 minutes later, I heard back from the person I meant online and he was giving me his opinion on my current situation and then we ended talking on the phone because he said it was easier to talk then texted really long paragraphs so we ended up talking all through the morning till my phone kept losing connection and then it died.  We talked about my schooling situation then things like are interests, past relationships, etc.  I told him about my infamous ex and how controlling and jealous he was and about  Ben and how we only hang out like once month because he's always busy and tired for me but not for other people.  I even texted Ben and picture of the dog from the movie Up with a caption that said "I was under your porch because I love you," because I was missing him and wishing it was Ben on the phone but I never heard from him sadly.  A part of me feels guilty I was on the phone with someone else because it wasn't Ben but a part of me doesn't because someone actually wanted to talk to me and help me and Ben always talks to other people on the phone, sometimes when we are on a date too!!! I technically didn't do anything wrong, I just talked on the phone and Ben has never asked me officially to be his girlfriend.  I wanted Ben to help me with my application this weekend, such as spell check, but at this point, it's probably a waste a time to ask him.  I'm sure I can find other people who can help me with my application, like the person from OkCupid. 

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