Sunday, November 2, 2014

Bombed It

I so bombed my test on Saturday...sigh looks like I'll be taking a semester off.  Even if I did study better I honestly don't think I would of passed but now I have an idea of what to prepare for next time I take it.  It also didn't help that other people who were taking it, it was there 2nd or 3rd attempt.  It sucks because I missed Hello Kitty Con and Dia De Los Muertos events too since it fell on the same weekend as then.  Oh well, it's my fault.  I'm a little disappointed that Ben never even offered to help, I'm not blaming him for my failure but it would of been nice if he at least offered.  I'm sure he was busy with more Halloween parties that he never offers to invite me to.  He did message me a heart message close to 10 but I didn't respond since I was studying and I was afraid I might latch out at him since I'm really stressed and emotional with everything that's been happening with school.

After I finished my test on Saturday and turned my phone back on there was a message from Ben:

Ben: Good luck on your test today my love <3 12:48 PM
-Honestly, I thought he forgot that I had my test that Saturday since we never study together nor did he offer to.  If I pass by some miracle then I know I can be independent and not have to rely on people like Ben.  I also didn't respond because I had just finished knowing that I bombed my exam and Ben never offered to help like he said he would and once again he just told me what I wanted to hear on our date night which he probably only did out of guilt from the FB pictures.  He said too on our last date night he was going to have more time for me and was planning to do more with me but nope, nada.  He couldn't even help me study for an exam! I don't even want to look at his FB profile bc seeing his Halloween pictures will make me cra-cra at this point and I don't need that.    

Ben: How did it go today? 10:12PM
-I was asleep but seriously if I was awake I would be in no mood to talk about.

Ben: I miss you 11:56 PM
-Lately I'm starting to find it hard to believe this.  If you really missed me then you wouldn't make me wait MONTHs for a FREAKING DATE NIGHT!!!  I don't even know if I should even consider him a bf at this point?!

Me: I don't want to talk about it 3:40 AM
-So I message Ben so he knows what's up and I haven't heard from him at all.  It is prob a good thing since I'm on the edge of having a nervous breakdown and I'll just snap at him.  He prob thinks I am mad at him since we never study together.  I'm not mad, just disappointed but I shouldn't rely on him or others to help me study nor do I blame him for my exam failure.  Next time, I'm going to study more and not tell Ben about my next exam.  I can do things on my own. 

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