Friday, August 22, 2014

Trip to the Gym

Last night after watching a movie on Netflex, I was wondering if Ben still had his FB account deactivated or not.  I logged on and saw that he had reactivated it, so I looked at his profile to see what he has been up to since he has yet to invite me out.  What I saw pissed me off, I mean really pissed me off!!! He was out last weekend according to the pictures and his friends girls were all over him.  It is like they know that I am going to see his pictures and get pissed off, well it worked! I wouldn't be mad if they were from when I was on vacation or if he at least tried to make an effort with a date night but come on, they were from last week!!! I'm so pissed off, this is pretty much the straw that broke the camels back for me.

While I was on FB one of my friends message me.  I told him how we should catch up so I can tell him about my vacation and how he should help me study for an exam I need for work and school.  It was after 10:30 when we were messaging each other so there was a good chance that Ben would see our conversation and I'm pretty sure he did since he actually texted me.  I didn't respond since I was pissed off at him and the only reason why he texted me was because I was on FB so it just felt like he was texting me out of guilt and obligation.  The text was also an answer to a text that I had sent him 26 hours earlier too!!! I wanted him to feel what I feel every time he ignores my text.  He even texted me later that night which I just responded with a heart message hours later.  He didn't even try to schedule in a date night for this weekend either which tells me he has plans already.  I'm sure I'll get to see what he does this weekend on FB too!

Aug. 20, 2014, 8:49 PM
Me: How long are you subbing for?

Aug 21, 2014, 10:47
Ben: <3
        I'm subbing for about 3 months

Aug 21, 2014, 11:17 PM
Ben: But the school is noticing me and are considering taking me on full time

Ben: If that happens I'm moving out

Aug 22, 2014, 2:54 PM
Me: <3

I'm really ticked off at Ben.  He calls me his "girlfriend" but yet he doesn't even treat me like a girlfriend.  I feel more like one of his friend girls but then again maybe not since they get to spend more time with him.  I plan on going to the gym every week to get back in shape, feel good about myself and get a nicer body.  Hopefully I can meet new friends so I have more people to talk to and hang out with.  I'm not really looking for love, just people to interact with but whatever happens, happens.  If I do end things with Ben for good, which at this point I am getting close to, I want to look damn good so he can see what he was missing whenever he blew me off. 

 I'm also trying to text that OkCupid guy less.  I'm sure he is tired of me texting him with just my problems.  I did invite him out once, but he was busy.  The other day he did ask me how many other people I text in a day which I told him I didn't know because I don't really know.  It just depends on what kind of day I am having.  Some days I will get a lot of people that will text me because they want to hang out but I feel just like a last resort when they do that though.  I asked him why and he said he was just wondering.  Kind of weird, random, and suspicious.  I haven't texted him since Wednesday after that text.  I think maybe he is tired of me texting him and never bringing up how we should hang.  I'll just wait till he texts me. 

So in a few hours, I plan on going to the gym and not bring my phone.  I won't be tempted to text the OkCupid guy and I won't be as mad when I see that Ben has never texted me with anything.  If I'm lucky, I'll meet someone new to talk to and hang out with.  Nothing romantically, or at least not yet.  I want this school year to be memorable, like my last year in community college.  And that all started with a trip to the gym, so a trip to the gym will be good for me. 

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