Sunday, August 17, 2014

Back to How Things Were

I've been home for a little over a week now and things are getting back to the way they were.  For starters, school drama once again.  While I was on vacation, I tried to register for classes and couldn't because I needed some type of clearance.  Every time I tried to e-mail my counselor, it kept coming back as undelivered.  When I got home, I was finally able to send an e-mail to my counselor and get cleared even though why I wasn't cleared in the first place remains a mystery.  However, all the times I wanted for my classes were closed and I was left taking a class Wednesday night and Saturday morning.  Yes, that is right, Saturday morning (fun :/).  I wouldn't mind just taking the Saturday class since that would leave me the whole week to get assignments done and read since it is a hard class but I needed another class in order to qualify for a loan and fin aid.  If I had the money, I would just take the one class, but I don't.  I don't even have money yet from fin aid or the loan since I need to write an appeal letter explaining why I dropped a class last term and my counselor needs to fill a form, which I have no clue if she has or not and I have yet to write a letter.  And payment is due next week!!! :(  Part of me wants to leave this master/teaching program and find a different one while I still wouldn't be in too much debt from this University but another part of me wants to finish it because so many people do not want me at this University to being with.  I still long and hope to get a master's degree related to anthropology and have an anthropology job.  Getting a teaching credential would help because I could be a professor and that could open the doors to an anthropology job in the far future.  Well for now, I just need a miracle for cash pronto!!!

As for Ben and I, things are still the same.  Seriously, not much has changed.  I haven't seen him since June, and that was only because I needed him for a school assignment.  We still have yet to go a date.  Nor have we had our "whole day to ourselves date" either.  I don't think we will either any time soon.  He did text me a lot the first couple of days since I got back, with messages like "I miss you" and "I want to see," but now he is back to his usual texting me whenever.  He is working at a concert venue, so I can understand him being tired all day but I'm not getting my hopes up for any type of date soon.

The annual fair is coming up also and I'm not getting my hopes up this year with going with Ben.  He crushed me but not inviting me last year like he said he would and  he crushed me even more when I saw on FB that he had gone to a different fair a month earlier with some girl.  I mean, seriously, he doesn't treat me like a girlfriend the way I thought he would.  I have never had a day to myself with him and I'm lucky if I get a date with him once a month.  All his friends seem to spend more time with him and go to these cool places with Ben when I am supposedly his girlfriend all I get is a message here and there and false hopes of a romantic date night.  There are so many places I would like to go and see and do with him if we ever had a day to ourselves.  But I know we will never have one because he only hung out with me once during winter break and that was on the last weekend so I am sure summer will be the same.  I will be super busy in the fall so date night will def not be happening.  I thought things would be different and better when I returned from vacation, but it is not.  Everything just seems to be getting worse, from school to Ben...sigh ... :/ 

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