I was surprised to see that my message was not from the friend I just sent a message to. This message was actually from someone who changed my life 4 years ago.
This person I will call Omar. Four years ago, I met Omar at the gym. He helped me get through my last year at community college and he was the person that I had actually prayed for. I prayed for someone to help me with my last year at community college and help me forgot about my ex. Omar was the answer to my prays and forever grateful that he was brought into my world. He actually inspired me to pursue my masters since he always talked about getting his. I think at the time, I was only interested in getting my masters so we could be at the same school since I didn't get into the same school as him for my undergrad studies. However, I was glad that I did get into the college by the gym we went to so I could still see him after school. Unfortunately, he got another job at a gym near his house and by fall of the start of my new college, we pretty much went our separate ways. He would message here and there and the messages got less and less as the months went by.
To this day, I still wonder if Omar ever liked me or not. The last time I saw him in person, it was for his graduation party years ago. I was excited because I thought this was my chance to find out if he ever liked me or not and maybe even ask him out. I even practiced asking him out with my friends. Sadly, when I went to his grad part, he had introduced me to his girlfriend at the time. I had literally felt my heart sink to my stomach. His girlfriend at the time was really sweet and I had fun with her at the party despite my heart being broken into a million pieces. After that, the only time I talked to Omar really was when one of us wished each other a happy birthday.
A while ago, I decided to check out his profile page and was surprised to learn that he had moved to a different state and was engaged. I don't why, but it mad me sad when I saw this. Probably since I never told him how I felt about him. Even though I am with Ben, can you blame me?! Ben lately doesn't even ask me out or really make me feel like his girlfriend. I can't even remember the last time we talked on the phone or FaceTime.
I was surprised when Omar messaged me last night. The only time we message each other is on our birthdays. I was happy and excited too since St. Jude had answer my prayer of reconnecting with old friends. I was surprised he was even up since he is in a different time zone after all. Even though we talked briefly, it was nice to hear from an old friend. We just talked mostly about school and the gym and those feelings I had for him that I thought had disappeared returned again. I didn't check out his profile page. I didn't want to see pictures of him with his fiancée or maybe wife by now. I wonder why he even messaged me but I'm just glad I actually got to talk to him and not just to say "Happy Birthday" either. I thought about Omar all last night and what could of been. I feel guilty thinking about what could of been between Omar and me, even though Ben has pretty distant lately. I wonder what I would of said had Omar asked if I was seeing anyone???
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