Friday, February 15, 2013

Single Awareness Day

So my friends, let me tell you about how I spent my Valentine's Day or should I say "Single Awareness Day?"  Wednesday night I went to bed excited for Valentine's Day. I did my nails Valentine's Day theme (black nail foil with red lips since you know wearing red helps get the other person's attention and they were a V-Day theme that I thought was going to be fitting for me on V-Day). I really thought I was going to be celebrating V-Day with someone and not S.A.D. as usual, but last year it was by choice however.
So I have been talking to someone for a while now (like a really long time) and I really thought I would be spending V-Day together but boy was I wrong, really really wrong. I woke up at 6 and noticed I had 2 new messages from whom I will call Ben. Aw, I had missed 2 messages from him last night but I was really tired and didn't hear my phone go off. The first asked what I was doing and the 2nd said how he wanted to call me but guessed I was already asleep already. Aw, he prob wanted to talk about V-Day with me. So I sent him "I was asleep :( " So as I was up early b/c I need to be at work an hr earlier on Thursday. I'm organizing my things  for work and getting ready to spend V-Day with Ben. I work a city over from where Ben lives. I'm putting things like shoes, jewelry, perfume, etc in bags so after work I don't  have to go back home and get ready and waste gas. I was excited to give him his gift as I put it into one of the several bags I had for work and V-Day. Thinking all about V-Day made me more excited as I put my heart jewelry into  the bag and perfumes that I only like to use on special occasions because this was a special occasion but sadly I would never get a chance to put on my special jewelry nor perfume.
Around 7:30 A.M. I get a text messaged. I quickly went to get my phone hoping it would be from Ben but it was from the person  that I met online that I mentioned before whom I will call Gio. It was still early and couldn't wait to hear from Ben. Gio message said, "Have you ever heard of  morrissery?" No, but I googled it. So I was assuming he was going to invite me to see him even thou I haven't heard from him in almost a month and the last time we talked, it didn't go to well in my opinion. I responded with  a "No" an hr later b/c I was too busy trying to get ready and imaging what kind of day Ben had for me. At 10:23 A.M. I get another texted message but it wasn't from Ben, it was from Gio. It said "Nvm then Ok"  Whatever I thought,  because I am prob just a last resort and I thought I was going to have a great V-day with Ben. I wonder what he was going to do since he's always bragging about what a romantic he is. As I loaded my car for work with the bags for work and V-Day of course, I was excited and couldn't wait til 2:00 since Thursdays are my early day at work.
The drive to work I imagined what he might do like take me to a fancy dinner or go to the movies. As I got out car and headed to where I needed to be I saw he sent me a text message with a Hello Kitty V-Day pix b/c he knows I love Hello Kitty and I couldn't wait for work to be over so I could see him. Seeing children with their V-Day cards and candys just made me more excited to see Ben. When it was time to dismiss the children I texted Ben while I waited for the last kids to be picked up. I was dropping  hints how I was almost done with work and  just waiting for the last kids to be picked up hoping he would get my hint and invite me somewhere . Still he did not mentioned anything about V-Day really. So I thought ok, maybe he is waiting outside my car for me with flowers or something. Finally the last child was picked up and I clocked out and headed towards my car checking my phone  but still nothing. :(  I was crushed and his messages weren't helping me either because  he wasn't messaging me anything about V-Day plans. I was crushed as I started to drive off. I didn't want to be close to home and have him invite me because I didn't want to turn around and waste gas but if he did I would have since it's V-Day. I stopped messaging him around 3:43 his last message to me was "Did any of the boys ask you to be their Valentine?" and that message was from when I was at work. I was mad and upset at that point since all this week he kept talking about V-Day. He said things like how he wanted to get 10 stars from me like my students before V-Day so he can get a prize and he even said I was his Valentine's already which made me excited for V-Day for once but when V-Day did come he didn't even invite me anywhere.
Driving home I was crushed and all that sad feeling that comes from disappointment and sadness. I saw some high schoolers walking hand-in-hand with their significant other and others holding the teddy bear their boyfriend bought for them. At a stop light near my house, I saw a guy waiting to cross the street with a teddy bear and box of chocolate that he prob bought at Walgreen's since Walgreen's was right behind him but I would have been happy with that. It's the thought that counts. 
When I finally did get home I was reminded of what a loser I was as I unloaded all the bags I had packed this morning while thinking how I wasted my time packing those bags with change of shoes, jewelry, perfume, etc. were all for nothing. It was just a reminder that I would be celebrating S.A.D. once again. So when I got home I watched TV all day. From the movie WALL-E to the V-Day episodes of the Big Bang Theory and Beauty and the Beast. Somewhere during my TV marathon watching I sent Ben a Victoria's Secret V-Day greeting card b/c maybe he did have something planned for me late night. I wonder if he even got it because I'm not sure if I sent it to the correct e-mail address or not but at this point I really don't care because I am still steamed and crushed. I went to bed full of sadness and a broken heart after watching Beauty and the Beast. What I thought was going to be a great V-Day was not. It was probably one of the worse.
 I woke up this morning crushed because there was no new messages from Ben. No messages with an explanation or a <3 or how he misses me. NOTHING!!! Maybe he was mad at me b/c I didn't post on his wall a Happy V-Day message like I said I would. I was going to but I was mad b/c he nvr invited me anywhere for V-Day, didn't give me an explanation if he was busy which I would have gladly taken a rain check had he said something b/c I understand he is busy with his teaching credential but no, nothing. 
This morning I decided to give him the cold shoulder treatment and ignore him. When I got out of the shower I saw I had a message from him that was sent at 8:23. It said "Are you working today?" No sh--, I told you my schedule like the day b4 V-Day!!! I was giving you a clue!!! I ignored it b/c I was still steamed from yesterday and no explanation of yesterday?! -WTF!? You just crushed my V-Day that I was looking forward to. At 10:52 A.M., I get another message from him, it said, "Ugh high school students are so weird. One girl is named --- ---." Once again, I ignored it. At 11:46 he must of suspected something was up and sent me a message which said "Okay maybe you're really busy today, I was just checking to see if you wanted like lunch or something." OMG, this message really set me off. Really, lunch?! Um, hello? What about V-Day, huh? You think I want to have lunch with you after you ruined my V-Day without giving me an explanation?!
Work just made things worse when one of the ladies I worked with asked someone else I worked with if she ever found out who sent her flowers yesterday. Aw, Ben always said he was going to do that and I thought maybe he would yesterday which that alone would have made my V-Day but no he just broke my heart instead. I haven't heard from him since this morning but that's fine with me since I'm still broken hearted and steamed. Idk how long I plan on ignoring him and giving him the cold shoulder. I think I just might be done with him.    

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