Your Boyfriend

Last  night, well more like this morning, Ben and I were Face Timing and while we were talking he said how he was my boyfriend during the conversation. My heart melted. Still I wish he would ask me in person and make it official but that's guys for you. So I'm pretty sure he introduced me as his girlfriend when we went to the movies but probably the "girl" part got drowned out from the outside noise because it was kind of loud outside the theater.  Ben invited me to one of his friends from the weddings birthday party, so hopefully I can go.  For now, I will continuing wondering how to get Ben to ask me to be his girlfriend officially.     

Status: It's Complicated...Still :/

Right now Ben is camping and I miss him.  We got to hang out on Saturday and I got to meet more of his friends.  I hadn't seen him since he invited me to a wedding and where I also met more of his friends.  At the wedding he either introduced me as his "lady friend" or by my name.  Idk if his friends think I'm his gf or not. I know he did once show some of his friends a picture of me and told them that this was the person he was seeing.  Idk if these were the friends though but I did find it funny how this group of friends they are either single or in a relationship in threes.  So Ben and I  now made the third part of the relationship and one of his friends was recently single and now made the third person to be single.  He also went to a party and was telling people all about me, his girlfriend.  I'm pretty sure his friends at the wedding thought I was his girlfriend but I'm not sure about the friends he introduced me to on Saturday.  It was a little embarrassing that everyone was dressed up except me. :/ I thought it was going to be a casual night so I decided to save my nice clothes for another night.  He did make efforts to hold my hand and stand close to me whenever, so maybe.  However, he did introduced me as his friend but maybe he said girlfriend but couldn't hear because there was a lot of people outside the movie theater, so maybe.  I wanted to ask him after the movies but didn't know how to bring it up.  I know I can talk to him about anything but I don't know how to ask.  I looked up some ideas but I'm still a little nervous on how to bring up "DTR." I think it also has to do with my past relationship and how that relationship just destroyed me in every way possible.  I know Ben is nothing like my ex but the wounds of my past remain as scars but most have faded now but some still show but are gradually fading.  Also, another part of me is old-fashioned and want that romantic way of being asked to be Ben's girlfriend officially.  He claims to be a romantic but yet he hasn't asked me to be his gf officially.  I know we are unofficially a couple but still, it would be sweet to be asked to be his gf and celebrate anniversaries.     

Back to normal

Things are finally getting back to normal now.  The last couple of weeks have been cra-cra (especially with school, work and Ben) but I survived.  Last week was especially hard since it was the last week of school for me so pretty much everything was due and of course I have to wait to the last day to start and finish assignments.  Taking two classes was def a challenge but I managed while working but I did have to sacrifice my social life in the process and my running and gym time but next time I am going to try to do things ahead of time especially when my fall class starts bc I'll be working more so its going to be hard to balance work and school.  And why is it every time I am super busy, like last week, ppl then decided to hit me up and want to  hang but when I'm free, nada! It has to be a sign to stop procrastinating on assignments. I'm only taking one class this time bc I just want to be able to focus on one class while working plus in the fall/winter there's a lot to due especially with all the different holidays.  I also want more time to be with Ben even though he's going to be super busy and I want to stay on track with running and working out at the gym.  I am however glad I was able to get into a class since community colleges are so impacted these days even though it wasn't the first choice of class I wanted but I'm glad I got in.  It's still a class I need towards a permit/certificate.  The other class I could have waited listed but decided not to bc I think one class is enough. I just hope next time I can get in the class or at least get waited listed, hopefully I'm not making a mistake by not waiting list and only taking one class this term.  Hopefully prices don't go up for units too!  I am glad online classes let me work and take the classes at my time, hopefully I am able to get all the online classes towards my permit/certificate.  For now, I'm just going to enjoy the rest of summer and delay checking the status of my finally grades bc I just want a break and enjoy life while I can and not dwell if I didn't do go.    

Status: Gf ...??? and Comic Con

Last night I was talking to Ben before he left for Comic Con with his friends.  He goes every year with his friends so it's like a guy thing.  Not that I would mind being invited but I understand.  Plus I have homework to do.  He was telling me about his last day of work since he too got another job.  He said someone was asking him about Comic Con and asked him if he was bringing his girlfriend he said no but told his coworker how I wanted a picture of the Teen Wolf cast. Aw, he remembered.  He also said girlfriend so I guess I am his girlfriend.  I just wish he would tell/ask me in person to make it official but I am happy with my status.    

Finally DTR???

Things are finally starting to turn around for me.  Going back to school so maybe this will help with getting an anthropology job.  I think I got another job, I'll find out next week, so yeah :) And finally,  Ben finally DTR...kind of.  I was talking to Ben on Sunday and he was telling me about his day and how he was at party and ran into someone he went to high school with. Ben was telling me how was talking about me and how he likes to talk about me to his friends since I am his special someone and practically his girlfriend.  I was shocked, stunned, happy, excited all in one since he called me his girlfriend, minus the practically part.  However, when you translate guy code it means I am his girlfriend fosho.  I said he was my special someone too but didn't say boyfriend because I am old-fashioned and want to say it in person in a romantic setting ideally so we can officially say we are a couple.  Since he called me his girlfriend, good things have been happening, I've been doing my homework early this week, staying on track for running and got another job ( I think, Idk what it meant by applicant but it did start off with Welcome, so yes I have a new job?)  If luck is what Ben brings me besides the love and care support he gives me, then I can't wait to see what the future has in store for us! :) ... Maybe he is the one <3

Three in a Row :(

I was just checking my e-mails and saw an e-mail from the district where I took my test on Friday and it informed me that I did not receive a passing score on the test. I could feels my eyes flooding and tears running down my checks, even now they are getting watery.  I didn't think I did that bad but apparently I did and then to add lemon juice to my wound I saw another e-mail from a different district where I had applied for a position saying in the subject header "Application Not Selected," so I already knew what to expect when I opened the e-mail.  The person who sent this e-mail said there was a large pool of candidates (I wonder if this is really true or not or it's just to ease the pain) and that my application was not selected to proceed in the hiring process.  The individual was not part of the screening process and that they didn't know "the particular reason [my] application was not selected to proceed in the hiring process.  We are not allowed to divulge the reason you were not selected."  I'll tell you why they won't tell me because of liability!!!

UUUUGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! I am so tired of this rejection!!!! :(   I know it's part of life but it still hurts and lowers my self-esteem!!!

Where You Rank

I had a pre employment test on Friday and I was nervous as always because I didn't know how many questions it was going to be and what they were going to ask.  I was informed that the test would be 30 minutes long and there was only 30 questions so it wasn't that bad.  It went a lot better then expected and I finished my test at a reasonable time but took advantage of the extra time I had and went over the questions that I wasn't sure about again.  We were told that we would be scored by how we did on the test and then the interview which would be in about 2 weeks.  Great, being scored on how we interview, they might as well just place me on the bottom :/  Hopefully, I can stay calm and relax for this interview (assuming I passed the first part which was the test).  I think that was my problem in the other interview that I had- I didn't stay calm and relax and just let myself breath and process the questions. I give props to the peoples who compete in pageants and have to answer whatever their interview question is which they have to be prepared and well rounded in to answer, at least with mine, it's work related and I have a general idea what they might ask. It's kind of funny that it's easy for me to express myself with pen and paper but with words...hhhhmmm...I could use some work.  I wish I had the speaking ability of Ben then I would have no problems with interviews whatsoever.  So after the test and interview, you are ranked from highest to lowest and the top three will be assigned for sure and then as openings become available they could down the ranking list. So hopefully I am up there, I don't expect to be at the top but being close will do.  Only time will tell for now.