Luck of the Irish

Is it true that Irish are lucky and that the saying "Luck of the Irish" has some truth to it? Well for me, I believe in the luck of the Irish, being part Irish. I'm also a big fan of the R. of Ireland soccer/futbol team and we were defiantly robbed of the 2008 World Cup. Anyways, I remember 2 years ago to the date I went running on St. Patrick's Day and found a $5 dollar which I still have. People always tell me how things like finding a $5 would happen to me. I was looking at some jewelry online last night and decided to see what anthropology and archaeology jobs were open in my state on indeed.com and found many openings for teaching jobs at various colleges or archaeology openings with certain minimums of years of experience which is always typical in my job hunt for a job in the anthropology world but as I kept scrolling I found a job opening looking for anthropologists at a university for a temporary research. It was like what you see in the movies where the film is zoomed in to the job opening and rays of light are surrounding it and music of that "AAuuuwwww" (sp?) sound is playing. I finished my application today and thought maybe the luck of the Irish is with me and some saint like St. Jude and/or St. Cajetan were watching over me. Hopefully, I get it (or an interview b/c there self-assessment was long!!! It took like 20-30 minutes to finish) because if I can get a job in the anthropology world I can die happy, feel proud of myself and my hard work to get my anthropology degree was for something after all. Happy St. Patrick's Day!!! :D

Guy Code: Dating Profile Pix

Another guy code guys should follow is there dating profile and how simple/basic is key and etiquette to things such as messaging and profile picture. It annoys me when I get messages from ppl with more then one picture on their profile. Some guys will have single pictures of them which helps eliminate guessing who they are in the picture but some don't even post a single picture but instead post pictures with groups of people which I ignore b/c I 'm not going to waste my time talking to someone I don't even know what they look like even though there is a crop button where they could crop themselves so ppl like me have an idea of who they are. Also, guys who post pictures with girl annoys me too. Really now?! You expect me to message back with girls all over their pictures, even their profile. They may be just your friend but do I know that, no! For all I know they could be an ex (seen that before), a girl who is your friend that you have secretly been in love with forever but is dating another guy (or vice versa), your looking for another person to join you and your partner in some kinky thing (been message that b4) or whatever. My opinion is, no girls in your pictures please, I don't have any guys in my pictures and I don't want to wonder who are these girls and why are they in your picture/s. I once had this guy who messaged me b/c we were from the same city. Looking at his profile, this person had no pictures posted nor nothing written, just what they were looking for. I didn't messaged back but this online dating site lets you know when someone is looking at your profile so of course this person knew I was looking at their profile and messaged me back how if I wanted he could e-mail me some pixs, which creeped me out and I blocked him. Why didn't he just upload the pictures in the first place?!   Many guys always comment to me how my pictures are blurry but it doesn't bother me b/c I too am guilty of judging how people look in their pictures and what they have written on their profile. While many guys complain about how blurry my pictures are, other guys are complementing me on how I look in my pictures which I sometimes question b/c even I know my pictures aren't the best. I know a lot of guys are looking for an easy hookup or are just desperate which I am not the girl for any of those. I'm just looking to meet new people and see what happens, which is usually we talked for a while and then fizzle out. Only once did I met someone in person as you may recall.

Guy Code: Texting vs. Calling

Looking through my online dating profile and still thinking about when to deactivate it, I realize that some guys need to follow guy code. I love the show Guy Code on MTV. For example, Gio used to try to call me which was kind of creepy. I know that's what phones are for but still I prefer text. When I get comfortable with a person then I don't mind talking on the phone. I love talking to Ben on the phone and even FaceTiming him. However, Gio would call right after I would tell him I couldn't hang, which would creep me out and annoy me. It would make me not want to hang out with him even more. I also met another person from the dating site whom I will call Francisco. We text here and there and one day as I enter my room, my sister said my phone was ringing and I looked and saw his name on my missed phone call. It kind of creeped me out because I didn't know know why he called and we had just started texting too. It turns out he just wanted to talk but I still prefer texting ppl like him. Maybe one day I will talk to him on the phone. I agree with Guy Code when they said how you should invite a girl over text because calling is creepy [nowadays]. What do you prefer? Guys/girls calling you or texting you when they want to invite you somewhere.

Insecurities and FaceTime

Last night my (Feb. 16) phone received a lot of messages from various people, including Ben. I wasn't sure if I wanted to respond to him because of what happened on V-Day. I was missing him and ignoring him for a day and half was long enough. I'm glad I messaged him back because now things are better. Here's how it went:   10:56 Ben: Hey, are you okay? :( Me: Why?  Ben: I hadn't heard from you and I was worried 11:18 Ben: How are you doing? Me: In bed (at the time I was really tired and half asleep so I thought the message said "What are you doing?) Ben: Oh ok. Are you tired? I wanted to call but if you rather sleep its okay Me: Lost voice Ben: Oh no :( What happened? Me: Work Ben: I'm sure kids are hard to work with. I was in ---- yesterday and I texted you wondering if you wanted lunch. Maybe another time. Me: Oh Ben: Is something wrong? Are you mad at me? Me: No Just crushed Ben: Why? Talk to me please :( Me: We didn't do anything for vday and I feel like lunch was just convenient, no offense Ben: You don't have to worry about offending me, and you have every right to be mad. Are you sure I can't call so we can talk about it? Me: Fine (His messaged made me a little worried because he said it was okay to be mad at him. Okay? Really? It made me wonder what he had done V-Day so I was a little scared to talk to him but I did want some answers and a decent night's sleep.) So the phone rang and I answered with my guard up. He explained about V-day and how sorry he was. What happened was he had class all day so he spent V-Day at school. I had his schedule wrong. I thought he went to school M,W, F and TH he had online class. I was close, I had Th and Fri mixed up. So he said Friday was his version of Valentine's Day with me. He wanted to take me to a vegan restaurant and later to this frozen yogurt place. He just didn't know how to ask really because he said he was rejected a lot in high school by girls like me. I thought this was kind of cute and funny since I did not go out at all in high school. Guys were nvr interested in taking me out on a date in high school. While he let his past of rejection get the best of him, I let my own insecurities get the best of me. I have trust issues with guys since my ex broke my hurt really badly. So instead of trusting Ben, I let my insecurities of guys get the best of me. I thought him inviting me to lunch was nothing more than just lunch since he is always inviting ppl to lunch. He was just nervous and didn't know how to ask me. Aw, so I felt bad that I ignored him but at the time I had imagine the worst. So we are talking again now and even FaceTime that night. So now he talk on the phone or FaceTime. I had never FaceTime before that which is funny since I am trying to blog about the Social side of anthropology. I like Facetime being able to see the person except WiFi suxs at my house so sometimes WiFi connection gets lost. I'm glad I talk to Ben in the end because we now know each other a little better. <3

Back to the WWW.

Since I have not heard from Ben since Friday morning and I am now questioning where we stand I went back to my online dating profile. Being broken hearted and an aspiring anthropologist I logged back on. I hadn't been on it in a while and I messaged a few ppl who messaged me and noticed a lot of ppl who did messaged me before deleted their profile. Maybe they deleted bc they didn't find success in time for V-Day. I was going to delete it after V-Day and/or if Ben had ever DTR with us but he has never and it makes me question his true feelings. I even messaged 10 other guys but so far I have only heard back from 2. I'm nvr successful really when I messaged guys. I once messaged a few anthropology ppl bc I wanted to meet and have more anthropology friends across the world and they all messaged me back and when I messaged them back none of them messaged me back again even thou they looked at my profile. Way to support the anthropology community guys :/  Last month an anthropology major messaged me and I was excited bc anthropology majors are rare and we started talking, mostly about anthropology majoring and then he deleted his profile (or maybe he blocked me) within an hr of message. WTH?! Last night, I messaged ppl but I'm just looking for friends right now. I even changed my social networking profile pix of me (of course I had to change it to one with a guy) and confirmed friends and wrote on ppl's wall as a way of sending a message to Ben. I don't know if I'm ready to date right now bc I'm slowly mending my broken heart right now.   

Convenient

Last night I could not sleep and now I'm really tired. My motions kept me up. All I could think of was Ben. Was I overreacting? Was he using me? Did he go out on V-Day with someone else? I tried to sleep but couldn't. I told myself I wouldn't look at his wall until Sunday but then I thought I should just look now since I'm already losing sleep and losing another night of sleep wouldn't help me in the long run. I looked but didn't really see anything but still, I get this feeling that something is not right. I didn't seen anything for V-Day but then again he could of done one of several things like hide it, delete it or told ppl not to post anything. However, I saw that he was hanging out with some girlfriends 3 hours before I logged in which would explain lunch. He probably had his afternoon open for once and decided to invite me even thou I am still waiting for an explanation about V-Day. So not only did he break my heart but now I feel convenient. Lunch yesterday was the first time he actually invited me somewhere even thou it couldn't have come for me at the worst time. I've only seen him once, yes once since I finished school in June. Oh and did I mention that when I did see him it was by chance. He is always telling me how he is always busy with work and school but yet he is always hanging out with his friends. So I wonder where I stand in his life. Am I just prize to him like all the other guys in my life? Does he even like me like he said he does? Am I just convenient? 

Single Awareness Day

So my friends, let me tell you about how I spent my Valentine's Day or should I say "Single Awareness Day?"  Wednesday night I went to bed excited for Valentine's Day. I did my nails Valentine's Day theme (black nail foil with red lips since you know wearing red helps get the other person's attention and they were a V-Day theme that I thought was going to be fitting for me on V-Day). I really thought I was going to be celebrating V-Day with someone and not S.A.D. as usual, but last year it was by choice however.
So I have been talking to someone for a while now (like a really long time) and I really thought I would be spending V-Day together but boy was I wrong, really really wrong. I woke up at 6 and noticed I had 2 new messages from whom I will call Ben. Aw, I had missed 2 messages from him last night but I was really tired and didn't hear my phone go off. The first asked what I was doing and the 2nd said how he wanted to call me but guessed I was already asleep already. Aw, he prob wanted to talk about V-Day with me. So I sent him "I was asleep :( " So as I was up early b/c I need to be at work an hr earlier on Thursday. I'm organizing my things  for work and getting ready to spend V-Day with Ben. I work a city over from where Ben lives. I'm putting things like shoes, jewelry, perfume, etc in bags so after work I don't  have to go back home and get ready and waste gas. I was excited to give him his gift as I put it into one of the several bags I had for work and V-Day. Thinking all about V-Day made me more excited as I put my heart jewelry into  the bag and perfumes that I only like to use on special occasions because this was a special occasion but sadly I would never get a chance to put on my special jewelry nor perfume.
Around 7:30 A.M. I get a text messaged. I quickly went to get my phone hoping it would be from Ben but it was from the person  that I met online that I mentioned before whom I will call Gio. It was still early and couldn't wait to hear from Ben. Gio message said, "Have you ever heard of  morrissery?" No, but I googled it. So I was assuming he was going to invite me to see him even thou I haven't heard from him in almost a month and the last time we talked, it didn't go to well in my opinion. I responded with  a "No" an hr later b/c I was too busy trying to get ready and imaging what kind of day Ben had for me. At 10:23 A.M. I get another texted message but it wasn't from Ben, it was from Gio. It said "Nvm then Ok"  Whatever I thought,  because I am prob just a last resort and I thought I was going to have a great V-day with Ben. I wonder what he was going to do since he's always bragging about what a romantic he is. As I loaded my car for work with the bags for work and V-Day of course, I was excited and couldn't wait til 2:00 since Thursdays are my early day at work.
The drive to work I imagined what he might do like take me to a fancy dinner or go to the movies. As I got out car and headed to where I needed to be I saw he sent me a text message with a Hello Kitty V-Day pix b/c he knows I love Hello Kitty and I couldn't wait for work to be over so I could see him. Seeing children with their V-Day cards and candys just made me more excited to see Ben. When it was time to dismiss the children I texted Ben while I waited for the last kids to be picked up. I was dropping  hints how I was almost done with work and  just waiting for the last kids to be picked up hoping he would get my hint and invite me somewhere . Still he did not mentioned anything about V-Day really. So I thought ok, maybe he is waiting outside my car for me with flowers or something. Finally the last child was picked up and I clocked out and headed towards my car checking my phone  but still nothing. :(  I was crushed and his messages weren't helping me either because  he wasn't messaging me anything about V-Day plans. I was crushed as I started to drive off. I didn't want to be close to home and have him invite me because I didn't want to turn around and waste gas but if he did I would have since it's V-Day. I stopped messaging him around 3:43 his last message to me was "Did any of the boys ask you to be their Valentine?" and that message was from when I was at work. I was mad and upset at that point since all this week he kept talking about V-Day. He said things like how he wanted to get 10 stars from me like my students before V-Day so he can get a prize and he even said I was his Valentine's already which made me excited for V-Day for once but when V-Day did come he didn't even invite me anywhere.
Driving home I was crushed and all that sad feeling that comes from disappointment and sadness. I saw some high schoolers walking hand-in-hand with their significant other and others holding the teddy bear their boyfriend bought for them. At a stop light near my house, I saw a guy waiting to cross the street with a teddy bear and box of chocolate that he prob bought at Walgreen's since Walgreen's was right behind him but I would have been happy with that. It's the thought that counts. 
When I finally did get home I was reminded of what a loser I was as I unloaded all the bags I had packed this morning while thinking how I wasted my time packing those bags with change of shoes, jewelry, perfume, etc. were all for nothing. It was just a reminder that I would be celebrating S.A.D. once again. So when I got home I watched TV all day. From the movie WALL-E to the V-Day episodes of the Big Bang Theory and Beauty and the Beast. Somewhere during my TV marathon watching I sent Ben a Victoria's Secret V-Day greeting card b/c maybe he did have something planned for me late night. I wonder if he even got it because I'm not sure if I sent it to the correct e-mail address or not but at this point I really don't care because I am still steamed and crushed. I went to bed full of sadness and a broken heart after watching Beauty and the Beast. What I thought was going to be a great V-Day was not. It was probably one of the worse.
 I woke up this morning crushed because there was no new messages from Ben. No messages with an explanation or a <3 or how he misses me. NOTHING!!! Maybe he was mad at me b/c I didn't post on his wall a Happy V-Day message like I said I would. I was going to but I was mad b/c he nvr invited me anywhere for V-Day, didn't give me an explanation if he was busy which I would have gladly taken a rain check had he said something b/c I understand he is busy with his teaching credential but no, nothing. 
This morning I decided to give him the cold shoulder treatment and ignore him. When I got out of the shower I saw I had a message from him that was sent at 8:23. It said "Are you working today?" No sh--, I told you my schedule like the day b4 V-Day!!! I was giving you a clue!!! I ignored it b/c I was still steamed from yesterday and no explanation of yesterday?! -WTF!? You just crushed my V-Day that I was looking forward to. At 10:52 A.M., I get another message from him, it said, "Ugh high school students are so weird. One girl is named --- ---." Once again, I ignored it. At 11:46 he must of suspected something was up and sent me a message which said "Okay maybe you're really busy today, I was just checking to see if you wanted like lunch or something." OMG, this message really set me off. Really, lunch?! Um, hello? What about V-Day, huh? You think I want to have lunch with you after you ruined my V-Day without giving me an explanation?!
Work just made things worse when one of the ladies I worked with asked someone else I worked with if she ever found out who sent her flowers yesterday. Aw, Ben always said he was going to do that and I thought maybe he would yesterday which that alone would have made my V-Day but no he just broke my heart instead. I haven't heard from him since this morning but that's fine with me since I'm still broken hearted and steamed. Idk how long I plan on ignoring him and giving him the cold shoulder. I think I just might be done with him.